Vegas

What hasn't been said about Sin City?

My employer, and the wholsesaler we buy from, arranged for me to get some continuing education and a certificate over the last two last few days. The certificate is nice to have (I can administer vaccines now!), and the CE credits will satisfy an entire year's worth. So to my employer and Amerisoure Bergen.....Thanks!

I drove down, but everyone else flew. I still got there first though. I wanted to go to the Spice Market buffet. It's delicious, has some very unique items, and is next door to where we were staying. Instead, we ended up at the Cheesecake Factory. Yup, the same restaurant that is in your hometown!

Not wanting to eat any cheesecake, I bought a gelato in the Forum shops before going in. It was the standard 'regular' size cup that one would pay four bucks for. It also had a wafer and a piece of dark chocolate included. My cost? Fourteen Bucks!!! And to add insult to the injury it tasted like shit. I ate half of it before throwing it away. It wasn't smooth, it had ice crystals embedded throughout. It only tasted faintly of lemon. The meal consisted of vermicelli with a little bacon, peas, and about 4 ounces of chicken. Toss on a Coke and tip. 40 bucks!

And all the while I'm thinking that I could have absolutely gorged myself at the Spice Market for less than $54 and still managed to tip the hell out of the waiter.

So it was personal now. I had absolutely no intention of gambling, but saw it as the only way to recoup my losses from Caesar's Palace. Thee spins of roulette later I was down 160 total for the evening. I guess I had it coming.

On the SE corner of the Caesar's Palace property (near the crosswalk) is a statue of a Roman 'goddess' clutching her tits. I repeatedly witnessed the precise same pose last year at the Spearmint Rhino and I'll bet the boobs were equally hard. The statue wan't trying to convince me to take it into the back room for an extra $200/hr.

I'm not swearing off gambling mind you. I'm sure I'll be ready to play again come winter time. I'm just tired of Vegas. When my boys turn 21 I'll take them down to witness the shining turd first hand. Until then, I'm avoiding it.

People say to themselves, "What should we do?" and answer, "Let's go walk the Strip". And so thousands of people were doing just that. They take pictures in front of fountains, lights, and the aforementioned 'art' They swelter in the heat and drink over-sized and watered-down cocktails. And of course all the women are dressed like they are going out clubbing, but they aren't. They are just walking the strip. And their daughters are dressed the same way too. They aren't going clubbing though since they are just 15!

God is going to visit the world with a destructive vengeance someday. And it's epicenter will be the intersection of Las Vegas Blvd. and Tropicana. All I ask Lord is that you spare the Spice Market buffet.

Ultimately, there is very little to do in Vegas. The food is spectacular at times. I went to Red Square. The appetizers and entrees were superb. The desserts.....not so good. In fact the best dessert I had the whole time was a fruit tart at the Paris that was part of the 'convention lunch' we were served. Come to think of it, the lunch yesterday was top notch. Osso bucco, poached halibut with capers in tomato puree, mixed olives, prosciutto, chicken piccata (with no capers strangely enough) and cannoli with the aforementioned fruit tarts. I left the gun of course. But the thing to remember is even at Red Square there was nothing uniquely Russian on the menu, except the Vodka. And even that was Estonian! The point being, is that nothing is genuine. Everything is fake but designed to look real. What about the Venetian some might ask. My answer? The smell! Venice stinks of salt water and shit. Vegas just smells like cigarettes. And it's all fake!

So what is there to do in Vegas? 1) Gamble 2) Drink 3) Eat to excess 4) Mill around aimlessly 5) Watch TV 6) Titty bars and prostitutes

They had an advertisement on the television that said the average guest spends 6 hours a day watching TV. I can't believe it. But that is precisely what I would have ended up doing had I stayed any longer. So I came home a day early.

I'm not against adult fun.......far from it. But it is all-encompassing there. A constant visual and noise assult on the senses. These 'vices' should be available but only with a bit of nosing around. Time was a guy would have to wander down to the gift shop to pick up a copy of 'Smut Monthly' and take it back to his room in a brown paper bag. Now we got street legal porn handed to us on the streets. Alcohol was served in bars. Now it is out of what appeared to be old popsicle wagons (that have been converted to sell booze) that line the strip. There was a billboard for a swinger's club. I had to explain to a coworker what goes on. Whatever floats their boat I suppose, but a billbaord?

And worst of all is the advertising blitz that tries to convince us that Bette Midler is still relavent, sexy, and under thirty.